Wednesday, March 11, 2009

When YOU don't like the BFF

What do you do when you can't stand your child's best friend? My daughter has a best friend that we'll call Diva. I really don't like this little girl. I have had her over to the house a couple of times to play and I took the girls to a movie. Each time she has been in close proximity to me, I have struggled to be nice to her. I feel bad saying this because I know I grew up as one, but this child is a pampered princess.

Her mother often invites JB to sleepover, or go to the mall, and over to play. At some point, I talked to Diva's mom and explained that with all my children, I just couldn't handle having one more. Diva's mom was really nice (super hard to understand) and said it was no big deal because they love having JB and of course how well behaved she is. I was secretly sad that this wasn't going to turn into an in school only friendship.

Then, my daughter came home sad one day because Diva had informed her that they were no longer best friends. Diva was now the best friend of the girl who had not invited Diva to her party which JB boycotted because her BFF wasn't going to be there. That was the day that I took the kids to the movies coincidentally. will be kids...and all of that. I comforted JB the best I could.

Last weekend JB insisted on spending her allowance to get Diva a new pair of earrings at the mall. I like to encourage selfless giving so I let this slide. Tonight, JB wanted to drop one of the cookies she decorated at the Kids in the Kitchen class at our Whole Foods, off to Diva on our way home. I acquiesced and was treated to the rare occasion when Diva remembered to say 'thank you' and she even hugged JB.

I am however left to wonder somewhat quietly if JB isn't trying to buy Diva's friendship. Maybe I am just being paranoid, but, my Mommy Sense is tingling. What do you do when you don't like your children's friends?

1 comment:

  1. Been there. I did not like my son's BFF or this kid's family. I had a hard time being nice to him too, and I usually LOVE talking to my kids' friends.

    This family took my son to fast food almost every single time he was with them, let him watch movies I wouldn't, let him play inappropriate got a little out of control. The problem? My son LOVED this kid. (No wonder.) In their house: NO BOOKS TO BE SEEN ANYWHERE. Just a gigantic TV screen. Ick. (I like TV, but I like books too!)

    Anyway, I just tried to plan other things to do for him, although last year, play date requests were a weekly occurance. We declined more than we accepted, but we really couldn't decline all. Plus we had to reciprocate a few times -- yuck.

    But this year, he has a new BFF, a really nice kid.

    So basically, I did nothing but keep trying to make it possible for him to spend time with other kids. I don't think I made a difference, because his new BFF isn't one of the kids I ever tried to set something up with --

    I got lucky. The tide turned on its own.