Setting: The longest line I've ever seen at a TJ Maxx. Four of my five children have tears and snot running down their faces. The screams emanating from my shopping cart are ear piercing, drowning out the desperate intercom pleas for back up cashiers.
Stranger: When are you due?
Me: June 7th.
Stranger: Are they all yours? *she inclined her head toward the masses spreading swine flu before her eyes*
Stranger: Well....ummmmmmm... *really long pause* Good luck.
Madam, if you ever come across this post, please don't worry. I was personally so horrified by my children's behaviour at that point, that I myself felt horribly embarrassed to be so glaringly pregnant. I was devastated that total strangers like yourself were cognizant that I was adding more of my devil spawn to the gene pool. If you should ever run into us again, please know that my children are almost never that badly behaved and are usually the most polite little hellions you could hope to meet. Really.
This is not a triumphant return...
2 days ago