Wednesday, December 30, 2009

There is yours, and then, there is MINE!

I despise, abhor, loathe having to share my bed with my husband. Yes, I said it. I have no shame. What I *do* have is a queen size bed that simply isn't big enough. After a regular weekend home, I wave good-bye to my spouse and watch him drive away from my bedroom window, then, to cheer myself up, I stretch out, all by myself on the bed and think, "'re all mine!"

My husband has now been occupying the small amount of mattress that usually belongs to me, for the last 7 nights. I just might lose my shit over this. It isn't enough that I'm tired, achy, and sore. No, I have to listen to my husband on top of it all. "Down South I have three big pillows. I'm not used to having to sleep like this. I don't have to share my bed down South with all these kids and dogs. Down South, nobody has to change the sheets in the middle of the night because the toddler wets the bed." Blah, blah, blah, etc.

Do I say, "up here, I don't usually sleep like a pretzel. Up here,I don't typically put the toddler to bed without a pull-up. Up here, I get to hog the dog to keep me warm. Up here, it's MY F#*KING BED! STFU about how good you usually have it and quit your bitching!" No, I don't say those things, but, at three in the morning when he wakes me up to complain about how crowded the bed is, I really *really* want to.

Now, I'm sure that when my hubby leaves, I'll miss him terribly. There is no doubt that I'll be sad when he goes. I'm pretty darn sure that laying on my bed, making 'clean linen angels' will cheer me up immensely though. The added bonus of being able to make clean linen angels on *my* bed, on the last Sunday of regular football season, while holding my newly repossessed remote control, and drinking my good enough of a fantasy for me to see a break in the clouds and hear the angels sing, through my current fog of abnormally sleep deprived irritability.


  1. rock on. clean linen angels are part of my dreamlife. only.
    but i love that someone else dreams of them, too.

  2. you are a crack up! I would much prefer for my husband to sleep elsewhere as well. oops, did i just type that out loud?
    btw- thank you for your input!

  3. love love love "clean linen angels." Brilliant! :)

  4. Oh, girl, you hang in there...all will be well with the world soon enough.

    as for clean sheet angels...what fabric softener do you hair always gets static-y when I do them! ;)