Wednesday, December 23, 2009

My letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

Tonight I am tired. I am trying to be a good girl and a good elf. I would really like a new toilet auger for Christmas, the deluxe variety, 'cause I've been a really good girl this year. Another day I will write another letter, about how I used to wish for things like diamonds, and how my heart's desires have changed over the years, to finally morph into auger lust. I don't think I could sink any lower, so please remind me after true senility sets in, not to ask you to fill my stocking with things like ex-lax.


Mommy Elf #13,875,865,101


  1. Hmmm, I'm thinking I should send you ours. We haven't used it much since Rachel's reign of terror.

  2. Hey Viv, I used to want diamonds, too. Now I'd just like my F-ing house to stop slowly falling apart and for my son to stop attempting to choke himself to death.

    Happy happy. I hope you had a great day with the family.