Monday, January 25, 2010

What is observational humor anyway?

Observational humor? Crikey, that sounds like I want to duck out of my unofficial commitment to unofficially play along with Homemaker Man in Knucklehead's Bloggy Idol. I won't duck out though, because I can't fall any flatter than I did with my parody, that apparently nobody could come up with something nice to say about. goes.

Is it just me, or does it always happen that when you venture out in public when you're slumming, you are bound to run into people that you haven't seen in years? If I leave the house in my 'cleaning clothes' I can almost guarantee that I will run into the guy I dated in high school, the one that has heard that I have six kids, but, is now sure of it...because damn don't I look like it right about now?

Just yesterday, I ran to the grocery in my toilet cleaning garb. I stood in line thinking, "that sure looks like my best friend's little sister," in front of me in line. *My bonus blast photo, the one of me in the red dress and, yes WME, choker was the last time I remember seeing her* So, I wondered if I should ask. Then I remembered that not only could my hairspray not be located that morning, but, I was wearing a ratty, holey tee shirt. So, I convinced myself that couldn't have been her. Last night, I was on FaceBook, and she posted to my wall, asking if I had been at Whole Foods. Yes, I admitted that I had been there, but, hadn't been sure if it was her, so I didn't say anything. When I asked her why she didn't give me a shout out, her reply was, "I wasn't really looking my best, so I thought it would be cool if you didn't recognize me." Heh. My kinda girl, huh?

When I do take my time, apply make up, and wear something that could be construed as mildly attractive...who do I ever run into that knows me? Worse than nobody, I'll run into my grandmother or another member of the family wondering why in the hell my old ass, with six kids, needs to be parading around the drug store like a hooker.

So, why do I pull clothes out of my 'bar tending' collection? Because, the last damn time I was there, I saw HIM, or HER (my high school arch rival) and I would like to show off the good things I got out of gaining 40 pounds and having six tits. I would like them to take back the pity f#*k comment, or the palpable relief that they don't have kids, and never But, the next time I see them? I'll be wearing sweat pants and a Disney tee they won't have to. Curse all the bad luck. What the hell is up with this, you all know what I'm talking about, right? Please tell me that you have been there too.


  1. Ha! Would love to say that it has happened to me too, but unfortunately, that is my everyday. I look like a ratty ole' homemaker with six kids-- but I've only got 3!!!

    It's great to be back. One of these days I'll catch up on all I've missed. Thanks for (one of) the kick in the pants to get me back online.

  2. I seriously hate when that happens. As of lately that seems to be how I look when I'm out running errands & it never fails that I end up running either into a member of my ex husbands family (he has a big family) or worse one of the PTA ladies. However, neither of the above ever allow me to just pretend I didn't see them, because they make a huge point to come over & say hello. Oy!

  3. First of all, sometimes reading about the things that happen in your life feels like a punch myself in the face.

    Secondly, a pity f%@k comment? Seriously? Someone really made one of those toward you? That makes me want to punch someone else in the face. I need names, Viv. Names and numbers...