What is observational humor anyway?

Observational humor? Crikey, that sounds like I want to duck out of my unofficial commitment to unofficially play along with Homemaker Man in Knucklehead's Bloggy Idol. I won't duck out though, because I can't fall any flatter than I did with my parody, that apparently nobody could come up with something nice to say about. So...here goes.

Is it just me, or does it always happen that when you venture out in public when you're slumming, you are bound to run into people that you haven't seen in years? If I leave the house in my 'cleaning clothes' I can almost guarantee that I will run into the guy I dated in high school, the one that has heard that I have six kids, but, is now sure of it...because damn don't I look like it right about now?

Just yesterday, I ran to the grocery in my toilet cleaning garb. I stood in line thinking, "that sure looks like my best friend's little sister," in front of me in line. *My bonus blast photo, the one of me in the red dress and, yes WME, choker was the last time I remember seeing her* So, I wondered if I should ask. Then I remembered that not only could my hairspray not be located that morning, but, I was wearing a ratty, holey tee shirt. So, I convinced myself that couldn't have been her. Last night, I was on FaceBook, and she posted to my wall, asking if I had been at Whole Foods. Yes, I admitted that I had been there, but, hadn't been sure if it was her, so I didn't say anything. When I asked her why she didn't give me a shout out, her reply was, "I wasn't really looking my best, so I thought it would be cool if you didn't recognize me." Heh. My kinda girl, huh?

When I do take my time, apply make up, and wear something that could be construed as mildly attractive...who do I ever run into that knows me? Worse than nobody, I'll run into my grandmother or another member of the family wondering why in the hell my old ass, with six kids, needs to be parading around the drug store like a hooker.

So, why do I pull clothes out of my 'bar tending' collection? Because, the last damn time I was there, I saw HIM, or HER (my high school arch rival) and I would like to show off the good things I got out of gaining 40 pounds and having six kids...my tits. I would like them to take back the pity f#*k comment, or the palpable relief that they don't have kids, and never will...now. But, the next time I see them? I'll be wearing sweat pants and a Disney tee shirt...so they won't have to. Curse all the bad luck. What the hell is up with this, you all know what I'm talking about, right? Please tell me that you have been there too.