Sunday, October 25, 2009

That's why we feel so at home in the zoo

A few random thoughts as I get ready for the zoo...

I am desperately searching my home for a pacifier (any pacifier, please let me find a pacifier) and the matching shoe to any of my daughter's three pairs. Why is it that we (at least me) are never prepared for how adept newly mobile children are at losing things?

I just read an article in which surviving life with three children under three was the topic. I had to laugh. I sure hope there is another way, because if I go that route, I will have to sell one of those children under three to pay for it. Without asking anyone to delve too deeply into their finances, would having organic meals delivered to your door be within your budget? Also, how do you spend one on one time with your kids if you are an only parent (per se) and have a hard (impossible) time finding a babysitter that doesn't run away when you tell them they'll be watching five kids? What did ring true? That having three children so small will be one of, if not THE, most difficult time(s) in any mother's life.

My husband recently sent me the most loving email:
Hi Baby, Did you find the phone, stand by , I will call you right now.
Yep, that was the whole email start to finish. Funny how standards for romance change.

Oh snap! I just remembered that I forgot to charge my camera after the last zoo trip it died on. At this rate, my children will look back at their childhood photographs and think they were raised in a zoo...oh wait...that's actually kinda accurate...carry on.

Have you all considered the possibility that pregnancy and childbirth aren't really the cause of incontinence in most women? My theory states that the children themselves are the cause. For example, a couple of days ago, some nice young men rang my door and wanted to talk about religion. They kept talking, the dogs kept barking (they will stand down, but, I forgot to tell 'em to) and I kept hoping (fervently) that they would let me shut the door before I wet my pants. See, listening to those kids was the longest I had been still all day (it was 2:00 p.m.) and my bladder finally kicked in and said, "you were going to help me out when you woke up this morning, but, noooo, you kept procrastinating. Sure this baby cried, that baby cried, the dogs had to go, the kids had to eat, the babies cried, the dogs had to eat, the dishwasher had to be loaded, the kids had to eat again. Heh! You'll be sorry for sure if you piss your pants in front of these kids." Thankfully I was able to slam the door shut and make a mad dash to the bathroom.

What do you think though? Moms with leaky bladders? When was the last time you were able to go? Yesterday sometime? Yeah, your problem might not be incontinence, it could just be incompetence, to be as in sync with your bodily functions as you are with those of your children. Don't worry, you aren't alone! I'm right here with ya.

My goal is to leave the house no later than 8:30 this fine Sunday morning...wish me luck!


  1. Uh, no organic meal delivery ain't in my budget. And one-on-one time? GREAT hard to achieve.

    What time did you leave the house? It takes me forever...usually because I can't find two matching shoes for the 3 year old.


  2. Lol! Hope you can get to the potty today!

  3. You need helpers. The 3 oldest should be looking for the shoe (and/or the pacifier). First one to find it gets a dollar (or whatever)...

    Yes, I used to read those articles and laugh, too. We couldn't afford anything when the kids were all little - not delivered groceries, not a babysitter, nothing. Heck, one year we couldn't afford air conditioning. It's ridiculous how all those articles are written by and for upper-middle-class parents. The rest of us just deal, you know?

  4. I forgot to post a comment! We actually did the organic produce delivery for about 8 months and it turned out to be cheaper for us. We quit because it wasn't staying fresh for longer than a day or two and it was more economical to just shop every few days. Pee, girl!

  5. We looked into the organic produce thing too. We would've done it except they won't come to our town. It would have fit in our budget though. As for the peeing thing, that happens to me too, and I am almost positive I have never given birth to anything. Sometimes with babies around there just is no peeing window of opportunity. I envy them their diapers.