It was funny really, I saw that the subject of Knucklehead's blog off this week was Dr. Seuss and I said, "no flipping way," I could do that. Then I saw one of my FaceBook friends and fellow bloggy moms comment about rewriting Dr. Seuss to better reflect life with children...and I thought, now THAT I can do.
You can think up some messes.
That's what you can do.
You can think about sticky
or think about glue.
You can think about wet.
You can think about slick.
You can think up an ick.
Oh, the messes you can think!
Oh the messes you can think up if only you try!
If you try, you can think up a juice cup dripping by.
And you don't have to stop.
You can think about glop.
Glop. Gloop. Poop.
Nasty glop that you'll set your bottle on top.
You can think about legos.
You can think about Eggos.
You can play a long time with eggos in legos.
You can think about Kevin in the Home Alone movie.
All the havoc he wreaked that you find so groovy.
Think of red markers.
Think of the white wall.
Think up a plan.
Think of how loudly your mother will bawl.
You can think about night, a night when you're up.
The adults are asleep but the three babies are up.
You can think about day, the very next day for God's sake.
Mother's eyes are bleary but you'll make sure she stays awake.
Destroy! Destroy and break. Ruin and destroy.
How many spilled gallons will an indoor lake make?
You can wonder...
How many pages of this book can I chew
before my mother turns blue?
There are so many messes that a toddler can make!
Would you dare drop this special ring in the toilet and flush?
And what would you do if you mother began to cry boo-hoo?
Oh the messes you can make!
Think of the soda, when if dropped just right,
will spurt out of the can and splatter all over the ceiling fan,
we do this once each day- and on Saturdays, twice.
Messes! You can make any mess that you can think...
Think of a puddle of pee on the floor,
in which puddle of pee stands me!
Think of your sister's kite.
Think of tangling those strings with all your might.
Think of your grin when Sissy sees her plight.
Think! Think up a mess.
Think up a pile of broken rubble
On which you can pour that whole thing of bubbles.
And litter! Think of litter.
And think about how spilling it makes your mother so bitter.
Why is it that tons of litter makes your mother grimace and act so bitter?
And why is it that so many things can't be set right?
You can think about that until Saturday night.
Think spills and think slicks
and think goo and think goop.
Oh, the messes you can think up if only you try!