Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Affection...the touchy-feely factor

Recently, I was called out on a blog I read about how comfortable I am with showing, and being shown, affection. So, today's post is two fold. First, I want you guys to tell me how affectionate you are, or are not. Then, I want you to tell me, if you have an opinion one way or the other, if I strike you as 'touchy-feely' sort of gal.

I am pretty interested in this topic, because this is one area of my life in which I have genuinely tried to change a bit. So, please tell me about yourselves, and I'll come back and weigh in with what I think is an honest introspective on my part, and a real post on the subject.


  1. Shit, viv, darling, I didn't mean to give you a complex on the comment was in NO WAY judgment! I love you whether you want to hug me or not! ok? OK!

    I'm a hugger.....Love me some hugs! (not from creepy people mind you...but cousins, sisters,'s....grandma's, know, the people I love, I love to hug them.

    I'm a hand holder (even in public)...GASPS!! i'm so old fashioned!!!

    But I didn't always used to be either....I was NOT a hugger, I was NOT a PDA kinda girl at all. I wore black alot, cursed too much and wore harley davidson boots everywhere I went. A common thought about me in high school was that i was a bit intimidating. Nice girl, but not fuzzy kittens and snugglie love nice. ya know how i mean? I've gotten better with age....

    Allowing yourself to be loved....showered with affection isn't everyone's cup of tea...comfort zone....

    My mom wasn't a big hugger, affectionate mother either....i used to think she was pretty abrasive to be honest....if she gave you a pat on the back, it was a whack! not a pat! Her backrubs....would leave you feeling like you'd recently been in an automobile's no wonder I wasn't snuggly at

    You are who you are Viv....let me ask you this, why do you want to change this about yourself?

    and sorry if i've somehow caused you any discomfort by my comment....I'm such a bigmouth, i didn't mean anything by it, i promise!


  2. I don't know you personally, so i can't say, but I'll say that I bet you are outwardly sarcastic (ya think?) which might make people think you are NOT touchy-feely. I bet you are plenty affectionate with your kids and people with whom you are very close. Maybe not a profligate hugger...maybe selective...which I personally don't consider NOT being affectionate.

    I am very affectionate with my kids, but wasnt raised in a very affectionate household. I'm a little surprised by how easily it comes to me, where the kids (and hubby) are concerned.

    I'm not easily affectionate with people outside my family, unless I am very good friends with someone, and I'm suspicious of people who are overly affectionate or who want to hug me but don't know me well.

    :) Monica

  3. Well, I can't say that I'm able to determine whether I think you're an affectionate person or not. Based on what I read I know you like your space (your bed) and you like your free time (your tv) and you like to drink what you want (your kind of beer). SO if I had to guess based on that stuff alone, I imagine you're a kind of independent, don't require a lot of affection kind of gal. I can't say if I think you give a lot of affection though. I have no reason to believe you wouldn't
    I really have no idea, Viv, sorry.

    I am very affectionate with my kids. If they're near me I can't keep my hands off of them. Both bc they're babies and adorable and soft and I want them to know how much I love them. My husband is another story. I am not nearly as affectionate with him as I should be, as he wants me to be, as I want me to be. I don't know why this is. Most of the time it's annoying and I want him to leave me the fuck alone. Not because I don't love him or don't want him to touch me, I'm just either in the middle of doing something, or I'm tired and cranky...these are just excuses really. I also wonder why I'm not very affectionate with him. I know he wishes I was and it makes me feel bad that I'm not. It's not all the time, but often enough.
    Anyway, enough about me, but you asked! :)
    Looking forward to reading your follow up post

  4. hey are you reading this blog at all...?

  5. Really? You worry? Since the HM and I started this blogging thingy, you've been consistently one of the most supportive, kindest and most affectionate voices in either of our cyber-lives. So, yeah -- I'd peg you for a hugger.

    Me? Eh. I enthusiastically hug and kiss my kids all day long. I lovingly hug and kiss my husband whenever I think of it (at least daily), unless he hugs and kisses me first (which he usually does). I warmly hug the children of family and close friends. I awkwardly hug my extended family hello and goodbye. Same with close friends. I don't hug co-workers or casual friends. Maybe I'll shake hands.

  6. As for me, other than family or close friends, I am not a hugger. The odd thing is, everyone I meet expects me to be a hugger, so there is often this awkward moment when they start to lean in for a hug and I don't. Awkward for them. I think it's funny.

  7. Hmmm. I suppose I am pretty middle of the road. I don't normally initiate affection (with anyone outside of my family), but I follow the cues of others and act accordingly. It ALWAYS catches me off guard if someone I don't know very well comes in for full contact!

    My parents were not affectionate, but my family is Asian, and so I blame a lot of it on that. Seriously! Of all of my friends growing up (all various forms of Asian), none had an affectionate family. I'm not bitter about it, nor do I have any issues that require therapy to be resolved...just a product of my environment (or genetics), I suppose!