My children brought home their report cards. My oldest child managed to keep his grades up with A's and B's, with a single C in Home Ec, not surprising given his proclivity to never wash anything...ever. LB brought home his first straight A report card, and JB brought home Honor Roll grades. I am pretty pleased.
My husband is still down South stressing over his job. I am still up here worrying about things over which I have no control, but, I seem unable to stop myself.
I am maudlin. Depressed, maybe. I can't do anything about it right now, so, I'm going to push forward. Talking to a doctor would require finding one. Then I would have to be comfortable enough to discuss my health. I'm just not there, not yet.
Everything seems to be slipping out of my grasp as of late. I think it probably centers around extreme exhaustion, both mental and physical. There isn't an end in sight, unless you are counting 18 years until I send my Baby Girl off to college.
My life right now is just unspeakably hard. I am alone and lonely. It is one thing to be single and alone. You can go out and meet someone, if you are alone, it is by choice. Married and alone is different. It's worse. I guess I am acutely aware of this as Valentine's Day approaches and I find myself looking forward to watching Fran Drescher host The Nanny, for the week on Nick. My husband shares a house with his landlord and her daughter, if he is without adult company, it is because he chooses to be, and he most assuredly doesn't get where I'm coming from. After all, he gets to spend his weekends out shopping with his landlord???
I am having a difficult time accomplishing anything at the house. I am trying to paint, but, it is nearly impossible with the babies and H demanding my constant attention. I also can't clean, or do anything really, unless I am willing to listen to one or more of them cry uncontrollably for my attention. I can recall the days that I would watch the clock, waiting until my husband came home so I could fold laundry, or take a shower. I don't bother thinking about it now, "he'll be home in six weeks," doesn't have the same ring as, "he'll be home by six."
I have three of my six who seem to be coming down with a cold, and my ears are starting to itch. Fun times are in store for us I do believe.