Thursday, March 4, 2010

Tests and being tested

Today I am going to share my children's Valentine's Day card from my parents with you...

On the right side of the card:

Dear Big Boy, Jelly Bean, Little Boy, Hercules, The Little Lady, and Baby Girl,

Happy Valentines' Day to all of you! We love you and miss you The Whole World.

Hugs and kisses,

Grandma and Grandpa

On the left side of the card:

Because you are the oldest, a very Special, and Happy Valentine's Day to you, Big Boy. We are so proud of everything you do, both at home, and at school.

We love you so much and can't wait to see you!

One of my biggest pet peeves with my parents is the attention they lavish on my oldest child, while making the rest of my children feel left out. It isn't just the Valentine's Day card, it is the invitation for only my oldest to visit, it is the big expensive present for BB's birthday and sending everyone else a dollar...maybe.

Perhaps I am just particularly sensitive to it because my own grandparents had their favorites, and I was not among them. It sucks to feel like you aren't good enough and not know why.

So, tell me...what do you think bloggy world? Do any of you deal with this problem?


I am just now seeing this card as it wasn't even mailed to our house, it was sent to my aunt.


From my daughter's test:

An average 5 year old weighs ____.

a.) 20 lbs.
b.) 40 lbs.
c.) 70 lbs.

She wrote, "D. How should I know what an average 5 year old weighs? My three year old brother is over 50 lbs., I guess the answer is 'B' but in my experience 'C' is more accurate."

Now, I am certain that she wasn't switched at birth. She's mine.


  1. She really wrote "in my experience?" That is wonderful.

  2. You daughter rocks!

    As for the card...I don't know, my daughter is among the favorites on my hubby's side and my son isn't and it makes me so mad. Love them the same, treat them the same or get off the darn bus! I love my neieces and nephews equally, they get presents equally, I would feel horrible if I had a favorite...have you talked to your parents about it?

  3. i would definitely , with my parents, talk to them. ask them to make them all equal or to stop giving gifts/cards, etc. to everyone. its a very hard stance but might make your kids proud of you and of themselves, self worth and all that... ?

  4. I'm with you on the parents playing favorites thing. That's not right at all and the other kids will pick up on it (if they haven't already) and resent it.

  5. my inlaws don't believe that girls are important. so my 2 sons always received lavish gifts and my daughter received something that was obviously an afterthought. i would buy her a beautiful gift, write their names on it and then make her send them a thank you card. it didn't change anything but it enabled her to love them. we didn't see them often so it was fairly easy to keep up the charade.

  6. If those were my parents, a "Come to Jesus" chat would be had and if they didn't straighten themselves up, I'd have to take extreme measures... Good luck dealing with that, hon.

    Your daughter cracks me up!! I hope her teacher peed their pants!

  7. Wow, that sucks to have the favorite be *so* obvious. Maybe it’s time to call them out on it...all the time. You know in front of the other kids or people say something like "Oh Grandma and Grandpa can send you to college since your the favorite Big Boy" or "Big Boy should go first since he’s the favorite" And "settle down now kids! Big Boy needs to concentrate on being even more favorite than he was yesterday" And ...geez I could go on. You should talk about it openly and make it a family joke. Own it.


  8. My brother has been "the little prince" for over a quarter century. It actually causes him way more problems now than I would ever want. The family constantly expects him to be involved with them -- visiting, calling, doing favors... Personally, I feel the rewards he reaped as a kid are far from worth the hassle today.

  9. Your daughter is one clever girl! And unfortunately grandparents always have favourites - you can't change that so I guess you just have to let your other children know they are just as special (and I'm you already do that) x