Friday, March 12, 2010

Evil laughs

My oldest child is a smart ass. It is true. I was reminded of one of his 'funniest' moments today when I was reading another blog talking about cats. It involved my big, black truck. I loved that truck. L-O-V-E-D it. It had a black exterior and black upholstery. It was impractical as hell for Florida. But, it was redneck love at first sight.

My husband and I walked the dealership when we bought that truck. We test drove a Taurus that I hated. The first car we had purchased together was a Contour, and the Taurus was exactly like it. I was grumpy. Then we test drove a new Crown Victoria. I would hands down have bought that car if the decision had been mine. My husband vetoed it. He had hated the Crown Vic that was mine, which we were replacing. He rubbed up against every F150 on the lot. I gave him dirty looks and shot him down. I lusted after every SeniorCitizenMobile there. The Lincoln Town Car made me purr.

Then we spotted it. The big, black truck. It wasn't a Ford Ranger. So, what was it? A Dodge Dakota. Windows tinted black, black sprayed-in liner, black upholstery, gleaming black body. I knew I was in trouble when I began to salivate. I consented to a test drive. It's V8 made me grin. The 4 wheel drive made me stupid happy. I. Had. To. Have. That. Truck.

We bought it, and I refused to let my husband drive, ever? I even drove myself to, and then home from the hospital when H was born in that truck. My. Truck.

Anyhoo...we had a lot of cats. We lived out in the country and I am a cat colony kind of girl. Cat fur frequently flew off my clothes to nestle in the lush interior of my Baby. Once, David, one of my toms, got locked in the car for a few hours before he realized he was out there. My beautiful truck got furry.

I took my truck to be detailed. The guy who brought the truck around to me when my Baby was finished said, "Lady, you must have a lot of cats. There was cat fur all over this truck."

My son, who was 8, maybe 9 at the time, didn't miss a beat, "Oh, no Sir! We don't have any cats. Sometimes though, when my mom catches them, she lets them ride in her truck when she takes them to the nice lady who owns the Vietnamese* restaurant down the street."


*A family friend was in Vietnam for business, when he returned he told BB an elaborate story about being served cat while he was there. I have *no* idea if the story was true, because I really didn't want to know, but, my son has never forgotten it. That was where he got the inspiration for the Vietnamese restaurant.

One thing I learned that day...never try to tell a stranger that an innocent, wide-eyed child is capable of such deception. They won't believe you and you'll end up feeling worse than if you had just let it go.

The second thing I learned that day was that my son is partly EEVILL (think Mermaid Man from Spongebob saying that) and that he gets it...from me.


  1. LOLOLOL!!!!! I have a feeling that your son will grow up to be just like my husband....

    At least you can't say he's boring...