Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I am living proof that your brain shrinks during pregnancy

Last night was my first night alone with the children. It was actually probably the best night I've had since we got home from the hospital. I'm not sure if that is because I was flying solo, or just luck. I did get up at least every two hours with one baby or the other, but, it was for short periods of time.

The day started for TLL at 6:45, and thus it started for me at the same time. I had just changed her and given her a bottle when Baby Girl woke up. TLL was a good sport and I was able to give BG her bottle, and then wake up the kids and get them ready for school. BB announced on his way out the door to walk the dogs, that the 'decorate a water jug' contest for his field trip today wasn't voluntary, it was actually mandatory. So, I sawed the top off a water bottle (that was half full) and dabbed some thumbprint fish on it while he was outside. Then I packed his lunch, in a plastic bag...classy, I know. 0f course, he forgot the jug.

I tried to take it to school. Really, I did. I jumped in the shower. Changed three diapers, dressed three babies, packed a diaper bag. I was however too late. When we pulled into the school the field trip buses were already gone. I am still choosing to count the trip as a partial success. The fact that I was anywhere dressed with three children under three by nine in the morning is an accomplishment in my book.

Since we were dressed, and because I was running low on formula, and as I was high on my imagined success we went to Target. I was pushing the babies in the double stroller and holding H on his kiddie leash. Hahahahahahaha! It was awful people. Purely awful. H fought the monkey's tail (his kiddie leash is a monkey) the entire time. He walked backwards, sat in the middle of the cart traffic, etc. BG couldn't decide if she was hungry or not, so we stopped to feed her no less than three times. And...Target was out of my formula. Yup. Out. It took us an hour to make it to the baby section in the store...and they are out of stock. Hah!

I was already dreading another trip to the store with all of my babies, like, bone deep shivers of horrified anticipation. So, I decided that we would pay a few extra dollars and go to the grocery store that is right next door to Target, and get enough formula there to last until my husband gets back. Once there, I walked too close to the bulk bins, and before I could stop him, H plunged his hand into a bin of carob malt balls and ate as much bounty as he obtained with his grab. Aack. I am still waiting for the grocery store security to come after me. The best part though, was that after buying the formula, I LEFT IT AT THE STORE. As in, I had one freaking bag, and I left the damn thing at the checkout counter.

I guess that I'll have to go back and see if they are going to hold the bag for carob malt ball ransom or not. However, I'm not going anywhere until the kids get home and I have a few extra hands. If for nothing else, at least they would try and find a diplomatic way to say, "hey Dumbass, you forgot your bag," without getting grounded.


  1. You are, simply, heroic. You should absolutely count the entire day as a success.

    I left a bag of groceries in the cart after shopping once. Felt pretty dumb, but less than a week later, I didn't even bother loading ANY of my bags. Or my purse. Left four bags of groceries AND my purse IN THE CART next to my parking space.

    I did load three girls -- didn't forget any of them, so: SUCCESS! (plus everything was still there when I screeched back into the parking lot in a panic!)

    That baby of yours is so very little...you are such a new mom of 6...you are a rock star.

  2. OH, I'm so sorry! I remember situations like that. In fact, I recently re-read an old post of mine about a similarly disastrous grocery store trip where A peed her pants and I had to buy new ones, and actually ended up forgetting the diapers we'd gone there to buy, at the check out.

    I imagine H refuses to sit in the stroller?

    I would count that day as a success, all in all. You accomplished a ton.

  3. Actually, H does well in a stroller. That is why I am on a quest for a baby sling. I tried one sling (I think you were the one who recommended it actually :)) and it was o-k-a-y but, a little tight. I went up a size and it fit great. Except...the only print it was available in consisted of huge brown polka dots. There isn't a whole lot left of my girlish pride, but, enough that I refuse to wear a print with splotches as big as my daughter's head. So I'm trying to hold out until I find one that doesn't make me want to weep at the travesty that is my figure.

    I guess I could see if there is a baby wearing group in my area??? I'll probably not win any friends by sharing that I thought the Advil/Motrin/whatever commercial was kinda funny...

  4. Oh Viv! You just described my life right there in that Target trip...or what used to be my life. Of couse I don't have 3 bigger kids at school. Wow.
    I tried those leashes with my 2 yr olds when my little one was born. Let's just say we used them once. Now the kids play with them as backpacks.