Now, let me share ten things that compelled me to make the above statement.
- Three hours in a car with six kids is no joke. Forty five minutes of non stop screaming by a certain one year old princess who wants to make sure that her parents are aware of her disdain is an excellent reason NOT to make a three hour car trip. Once you are three hours away from home though, you know that you must do it again on the way home. A benefit to the hour and a half of terrorizing screams on the return leg of the journey is that you will NOT be able to fall asleep at the wheel, cry perhaps, but, not sleep.
- After laboring for two hours to make her vehicle presentable to the paternal half of the parental unit, a mother can hold a grudge for days (maybe weeks, we'll see) when that same daddy dumps a can of soda on her floorboard.
- Those children that you couldn't wait to show off as the light of your life? You so don't even want to take them home with you. Another three hours cooped up with them will make you wonder if a really, really late term abortion would fly.
- "Why in the hell did I marry this man?" Is a question you will ask yourself over and over, especially if he spills something.
- You still can't eat anything acidic because of the chunk of your cheek that you bit off trying to restrain yourself when your father threatened to spank your son at dinner.
- Your mother waited all of twenty minutes before lamenting to your husband about her daughter denying her of her grandparental rights.
- Your mother will try to force you to try on bathing suits that have not fit you since you were seven. Demeaning? Just a little.
- You will spend a good five minutes wondering if someone were to actually use on of the decorative soaps that have been in your mother's bathroom for the last twenty five years, would it kill them?
- Then you will wonder if your sister had also wondered about lethal soap, but you will be unable to find a way of asking because your mother is right there.
- Why do old people have so many pictures of Jesus and rosaries on display? You will ponder this because there are far more crosses/Madonnas/baby Jesus(es)/rosaries in your mother's bedroom than there are in the National Cathedral?
Grandma, BG, Me, JB, H, and Aunt S
Uncle P, LB, JB, and BB
Hubby and TLL
Hubby and BG