Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Hair loss and possible job loss

In the event that I haven't mentioned it, my hair is falling out. Since Labor Day, I estimate that I've lost half the hair on my head. I intend to see a doctor about it before I'm completely bald, but, it hasn't made my to do list yet this week.

The stress that is my life is pressing down on me very hard just now. My husband's one year is up on September 29. The 29th of this month marks the end of his probationary period at his new job. It is going to be a tough couple of weeks until we get there. There are several factors at play that make me extremely apprehensive about this upcoming anniversary.

Once he is out of the probationary period, we will be able to breathe that deep sigh of relief that government employees are privy to in these dire economic times in respect to job security. My biggest concern though is that my husband and his immediate superior are at odds with one another.

My husband is if you don't know, Iranian by birth. He learned English as a second language after he came to the States to study. His intention was to take his degree and return to Iran to work for the government there, but, while he was here the last revolution took place and the Shah was overthrown. My husband stayed here. He married an American citizen and became a United Stated citizen and then spent the first 15 years after he graduated working in restaurants because his English was so poor.

Finally, a few years after I met him, he managed to break into the engineering field. He held his first position for seven years, until, the carrot that is his current job was dangled in front of him. Ever since he graduated from college, my husband wanted this job, and 20 plus years after he initially applied for it, an offer was made. I was so happy for him, that he had met one of his big life goals, that I gave him my blessing (if you will) to take the job even though it would mean separation for our family.

Now, after 342 days of our current living arrangement, as we approach his one year anniversary I am scared that this very fragile wall we have built to support our family will crumble. My husband and his immediate superior are constantly at odds. His boss is probably a very talented engineer, but, someone who should never have been put in charge of a field office. His management skills are non existent. It is my belief that managers should have patience. His has none. It is my conviction that managers should set the stage for professionalism. His boss does not. In fact, my husband's superior could stand to have some type of review. Anyone in a professional position, a management position no less, that can't go five minutes without raising his voice to outright shouting, without dropping multiple f bombs, and without belittling the people that work for him, should unequivocally not be a manager.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that my husband can be frustrating. I know him better than anyone else. I also know that as soon as you raise your voice to my husband, he stops listening. Therefore, it doesn't really surprise me that his boss thinks that my husband doesn't listen. He does, he can, just not if you are trying to convey that information at the top of your lungs.

I also know how rough my husband's English is. I know how poor his computer skills are. I know that the reason he was offered this particular position was because he was very forthcoming about his lack of computer prowess. I know how dedicated and loyal he is. I know what pride he takes in his work. I know how genial he can be. I know how smart he is. I know that he really doesn't stand up for himself.

I know that his name was left off the email in which the new time sheets were sent. I know that the time sheets were due back yesterday. I know that my husband was told by his boss that he shouldn't worry about it. I know that this is the first time sheet for the period after his one year. I know that I am freaked out. I know that I am not going to be able to breathe freely until the 30th or until the other shoe drops.

My husband just returned from 90 days TDY to another district where they absolutely loved him and appreciated his work as well as recognized him for a job well done. They asked to extend his TDY period and the request was denied because my husband was supposed to report back to his home office and then work on a new out of town project. My husband was supposed to report to his new temporary duty station today, but, was told to stay back by his immediate superior.

I am all kinds of nervous and terribly apprehensive. Perhaps I am seeing mountains where there are just mole hills, but, I used to be a part of that big bad workforce. I remember how things worked with my employer...and pulling the rug out from under someone's feet was just how we used to roll. I realize that lots of people and many companies are far more ethical than what I am referencing, but, from what we've seen so far from my husband's boss, I am not inspired that he is one of the good guys.

Keeping my fingers crossed while googling hair restoration products.

LB with Jasper the class pet and Dodger II

Jasmine, JB, and LB

Baby Girl and The Little Lady at the zoo

Hercules feeding a giraffe

Baby Girl...isn't she sweet?


  1. Viv, I'll be saying a prayer for you and your husband. Hang on till 9/30! The boss sounds like a heel...

  2. Get your thyroid tested! It's a common reason for thinning hair in middle-aged women (that's us!).

    Good luck to your husband, but it may be that he'll have to move on. Really, though, where he is working sounds far from ideal. So maybe it will be a blessing in disguise if he has to change. My husband went through that recently.