Looking like I ate a few dwarves, especially the 'you are what you eat' variety has me thinking that it is time for me to start climbing back on the wagon. It has been a rough year, Baby Girl's birth, my subsequent hospital stay, my husband's job insecurity, the step children induced drama, having three kids three and under while trying to stay on top of my three school aged children...has left me a shell of the person I once was. I need to start making myself a priority again.
Baby Girl will be one next month. My baby won't be a baby any more. I hate it. I see little tiny babies in a restaurant or a store and I want to sob. I don't want to not have babies around me. I also know on a different level, that my body couldn't handle another child. Nor perhaps could I. This year has been the most difficult of my life. I suffer from exhaustion like I never have before. I'm sure bringing up babies with Daddy so far away, is a contributing factor. The Little Lady will be two in July, and so I have been raising my family, and bringing up babies single handed for the last 20 months.
The sheer work involved in getting through my day is the largest contributing factor in letting myself go. I know it is so. Still, I need to change all that. I am going for a trim and to have my hair highlighted at the end of the week. I am also going to get a much needed mani/pedi. I have been shopping online for some new clothes, me being me, that means a few new snarky tee shirts. I have been watching what I eat a bit better than I had been. I am not exercising per se, my ankle isn't quite there yet, as a matter of fact, it protests loudly, but, I would like to start. It is time now that my baby is almost one, for me to start losing that 'new mom' pallor. Of course, if those babies would sleep through the night, it would help mightily with that.
Wish me luck guys. I have a feeling that I'm going to need it.