Chocolate, rant, hamsters, and strip teases

H: Mommy, I wanna go to the health food store and get a 'shock-lit' please? The apple store, hunh-kay?

I am ashamed that my three year old equates the freaking health food store with chocolate, I am alternately amused that he calls it the 'apple store' as their logo incorporates a small red apple.

In other news, I hate summer camp. I hate getting up at oh-gosh-darn-dark-mother-flipping-thirty. I hate the small fortune in gas that I have squandered away on this venture. I hate that my oldest son won't even go without a fight, I hate that I hate it all. These last two weeks have been awful. Without the big kids around, I can't do anything. The only store I can go to is Costco because their shopping carts are awesome two seaters with the over sized basket that fits BG's carrier and my groceries. Otherwise, I find that I am lacking the ability to push a cart, pull another, and toe a third for groceries. If you are wondering, I have indeed tried this. This week was better, I drove the children and dropped them off at a more convenient time...as in when we woke up and got dressed, but, my grandmother in her attempt to help my kids have fun this summer will be picking them up next week...at the a** crack of dawn. Frankly, it makes me feel a tad suicidal.

H had his first day of drop off Gymbo summer camp. The manager and I compromised on him being allowed to attend although he isn't potty trained as long as I stay at the mall so that I can swoop by and change him if necessary. This is a small concession on my part, because honestly as hot as it is, as hard as it is to wrestle with three car seats, a double stroller, and a baby sling, I would probably have chosen to just hang out at the mall anyway. H walked right in, closed the door behind him and didn't give me a second thought until it was time to leave. He asks me roughly every five minutes when his next class is because, "my teacher needs me Mommy!"

Tomorrow we are heading off early to see G-Force. I've never seen a movie in 3-D (okay...modern 3-D) so I'm hoping it will be as cool as my kids promise and as cute as the ads look. At any rate, I'm hoping I'll like it better than HP-6.

My H took his diaper off after dinner and we were treated to a dancing three year old twirling a diaper on his finger...makes me wonder what Daddy is letting them watch on television when I'm away. Although if that killer left arm he has doesn't work out to be an NFL career...maybe he can be a Chippendale???