Principals have Secret Service these days?

I am under the impression that if I were to call the White House and ask to speak to President Obama, I might have a better chance of him returning my phone call than my children's own school principal. You have, I am sure, been in the position in which I find myself. You call to speak to 'Someone Very Important' and so your call is sent into the filters which help weed out the unworthy. First I asked for the principal and was given the guidance counselor. The guidance counselor set up a conference that the principal was supposed to attend, but, I got her AP instead. The AP sat in on a conference that had come to some sort of resolution. In turn, my son's teachers ignored everything I said...and the AP said. This was the first week of December.

Then I called in February, I was told that the AP I had dealt with was no longer at the school. Super!!! So I got the new AP...not the principal...God forbid, not the principal. I explained that I had already spoken to my son's teachers, the old AP, the guidance counselor...but no cigar. I was told that I would need to go through the new AP before getting to talk to the principal. The new AP sent me, not to the principal, but to the guidance counselor...again. The guidance counselor suggested that because my son's grades are good, I should drop the whole thing. Um thanks...maybe not.

So, I called again in March. I got the guidance counselor AGAIN. I asked her several questions that she provided less than acceptable answers to. OKAY...now can I talk to the principal? No. So, I called the school again and dropped all pretense of being a kind and caring person. I told them in absolutely NO UNCERTAIN terms that if they could not provide me with an email address for the principal, or give me her voice mail, or *gasp* actually put her on the phone, that my two year old son, my 8 month old daughter, and myself were going to be spending ALL DAY, EVERY SINGLE DAY at the office until I had seen the principal.

I must have sounded serious because the next morning the principal returned my call. She told me that she was aware of ONE occasion that I tried to reach her, but that she had delegated it to her AP. I then asked what should have happened when I called to say that the teachers were not doing anything that they agreed to do at the conference and that the matter was ongoing. "Well, then I should have been made aware if it," she said. Okay...allow me to suggest that you look into how matters that at least one party thinks requires your attention are delegated.

So, she promised to look into it and get back to me the next day. The next day, I got a call from her secretary saying that the principal was very busy, she would return my call the following day...which DID NOT happen. Then Spring Break. Today I called and spoke with her secretary...she promised me that IF the principal is in today, she will make sure she sees my message.

Why in the hell is it so hard to bring potential problems to the attention of the administration? For example, I think that the principal should know abut cafeteria clean up duty for students...I am pretty sure that sweeping and mopping the cafeteria floor...might turn out to be a liability issue if one of the children get hurt.

*sigh* I HATE school.

Note to spouse disguised as a post

This post is going to be short because apparently a woman's brain does truly shrink during pregnancy. However a couple of things are flitting around in my mind.

• I LOATHE being off our happy schedule.
• Even if my kids are in totally craptastic moods, at least I know when they'll sleep, usually.
• Having kids in craptastic moods with limitless energy sucks.
• It sucks worse if your husband's crying and whining just adds to the fun.
• If your way clearly doesn't work...what the hell...try it your wife's way, just in case maybe in a zillion months of single parenting she actually learned something.
• I fucking hate ineptitude. It is one of the reasons that I left the workforce...why I am just remembering it now?
• When bedtime has gone all to shit...screaming at your spouse at the top of your lungs...probably isn't going to help the little ones slip off into dreamland. Please see the above observation about trying it your wife's way...ya know...just in case it works.
• Can it really be preferable to be seen as a raving lunatic than to...ya know...try it your wife's way and take the chance that you'll be *gasp* wrong?

P.S. Your wife would probably never even mention that it was her idea...if you would just fucking do it already.

12 years of marriage summed up like so

H: No fun for the rest of my life. Just kids.
H: Yeah, alimony and child support, I like that. Like that would happen.
H: *sigh* Work hard, and there is nothing left. Nothing. Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like?
H: *finally addressing me* Honest to you, this is all your fault. Is all your fault, all these kids. Really it is you know. Women have more control over these things, it's true.

• My husband can be a huge jackass.
• I'm so thrilled that he is here to screw up my routine for the next two weeks.
• An added bonus is all the sunshine he is bathing us in while he's here.
• If you are wondering what prompted the monologue...? So the fuck am I.

I noticed something

We took the kids to see the Easter Bunny at the mall today. While comparing photos of the children with Santa and the children with the Easter Bunny, I noticed something. H is downright miserable in both pictures (though he liked the Easter Bunny WAY better than Santa) and at Christmas he had a horrible black eye. For Easter, he has his arm in a cast. *sigh*

What do you mean "surprise"

Oh shit! Oh crap! Oh damn!

Confession time. I have been such a slacker this week. Oh my goodness! Such a slacker. My husband is coming home...now. Like he is on the road and driving this way. He'll be here in another three hours. He will see...oh my...he will see that all the organizing I was going to do, all the cleaning that I was planning for this Spring Break...I have so not even touched.

I have slept, (a lot...like roughly 14 hours a day...my baby girl ROCKS) I have played with my little lady every chance I got, I have read, I have watched television, I have snuggled with my dogs, I have taken long leisurely strolls with my daughter....but I haven't cleaned for SHIT. Like nothing. I have kept up with TLL's laundry, bottles, toys, etc. However, the rest of my house is still screaming, "we're so leaving for Spring Break....let's trash the place!"

Hubby wasn't supposed to be home until Tuesday night...I figured I had plenty of time. I'm so screwed!

Shit. Frig. Damn.

Is it wrong to covet another's ex husband?

BERLIN (Reuters) – A German woman has divorced her husband because she was fed up with him cleaning all the time.
German media reported the wife got through 15 years of marriage putting up with the man's penchant for doing household chores, tidying up and rearranging the furniture.
But she ran out of patience when he knocked down and rebuilt a wall at their home when it got dirty, Christian Kropp, court judge in the central town of Sondershausen, said on Thursday.
"I'd never had anyone seek a divorce for this," he said.

Okay...so where are all the other important details, like his picture, and if he likes children?

I am a klutz with bad luck

My favorite grocery store on the face of the earth has betrayed me...again. Well, I'm being a touch dramatic here.

TLL and I went to Whole Foods yesterday so that I could pick up some dinner. I hate to cook, and I refuse to do so for just one person. So, I was all excited about eating one meal (from their hot bar of course) yesterday. TLL was pretty good while I ate, although, the food wasn't as good as it usually is. No biggie, I was hungry, I just ate quickly so as not to savor it too much.

Then we hit the aisles for a little of this and that. You know, little treats for the children when they get back. Oh, and my astronomically expensive canned coffee beverages...if someone would just hook me up with a caffeine IV, I could save so much money.

We checked out, and the bag boy put everything in one bag. *sigh* I have complained (bitched) about this before, but, they have a policy about not using more trees than necessary. If I could only remember my reusable shopping bags each time, then I'd have no qualms with Whole Foods at all.

So, TLL and I are carrying our one bag to the car (because they don't have parking lot cart return either) and holding our umbrella because it has started pouring, when the bottom rips out of the bag. The entire contents of my bag end up in the parking lot. First the glass bottle of Mango juice (JB's favorite) then the pan of tiramisu (BB's favorite) and a four pack of canned energy drinks, canned pineapple, four cans of cat food, two more bottles of juice, a bag of dog treats, a box of cookies, gum, two boxes of kleenex, and two bags (H and LB's favorite treats) of gummy worms. Too much stuff for one bag...right? Right.

I had the distinct pleasure of strapping TLL into her car seat and then trying to clean up tiramisu, glass, and assorted groceries from the parking lot. I tried to save the cat food...not one of my best ideas, it leaked all over my floorboard, and now my truck smells like tuna. Why, why, why does this crap always happen to me? Biggest mess? Must be Viv. Loudest crash? Viv. FEMA aid required? Thanks to Viv.