Personal Hygiene Day

Today was Personal Hygiene Day at school for the 5th graders. They split the boys and girls and showed a video that was supposed to be all about personal hygiene. My children came home from school to find me dressed and the babies ready to go grocery shopping. I ordered them into the car, but my 5th grader demanded five more minutes. I started getting everyone else into the car, but ducked back inside to see what was taking BB so long. I found him in the bathroom with his bag of travel size spoils from today's school lesson. He was applying deodorant to his forehead, because they did such an excellent job of explaining personal hygiene today, and because it did say antiperspirant...I mean everyone knows that your forehead sweats right?

In the car on the way to the store, my son with his flawless complexion told me that soon I would need to buy him acne medicine. I assured him that day was coming, soon in fact, if he keeps putting deodorant on his forehead.

Too funny...must share

1. My older daughter was the only girl for eight years.
2. I myself am not the most feminine woman I know. I'll read military fiction over romance novels any day. I live for the most part in jeans and tee shirts. I wear minimal make-up (this part has really changed over the years) and I tend to get along better with men than I do women.
3. My daughter is like the ultimate girly girl.

Almost six years ago now, my daughter went to visit my sister for a couple of weeks over the summer. My daughter fell in love with her Aunt who is the ultimate grown up girly girl. Before my daughter came home, my sister bought her this huge stuffed pink pony to sleep with. They even got a cake and had a birthday party for this pony. Easy to see why my sis is such a cool Aunt, no? Well, my daughter came home with Pinkie Pie.

For six years I thought that my daughter came up with the name for that pony...I mean "Pinkie Pie" sounds like the work of a three year old to me. For six years I have been making my daughter's bed, and plopping Pinkie Pie up there and shaking my head. Hating this damn pony for standing for all the reasons I have trouble relating to my daughter. Tonight I was reading the comments on another blog and someone mentioned Pinkie Pie!!! I am still laughing that this is the actual name assigned to this pink pony, by someone other than my daughter. I can't tell you how relieved I am that my daughter didn't name that damn pink monstrosity...and I can't type because I'm still laughing too hard.

Is it just me? Tell me please.

I hate school. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it...and I don't want to go!!!

Okay, I think that it might be out of my system now. God forbid my children ever catch on to my REAL feelings about their school. Mommies, if you would please be so kind as to help me out and share your thoughts with me about the following story, it would be appreciated.

Last week, my son went to his English class where he sat down and took that day's quiz, when they turn in the daily quiz, they are also supposed to turn in their homework, but my son heard his teacher say that they were going to check homework in class, so he kept it (the homework, not the quiz) at his desk. He then picked up his book and started reading as most of the other kids were still working on the quiz. Perhaps if he had stayed on task and resisted the impulse to amuse himself, he might have noticed that the rest of the class handed their homework in. When the teacher started passing the homework back to the students to check, he and another student admitted that they had kept their homework. She gave them the option of doing cafeteria duty and getting their work graded or taking a zero. My son had no idea what cafeteria duty was, and was embarrassed that the rest of the class was looking at him, waiting for him to decide, so he mumbled that he would just take a zero on the assignment. The other child chose cafeteria duty.

I was pretty unhappy about the whole incident. Truth be told, I feel like not handing in the homework was more of a conduct issue, he was reading, he wasn't on task, therefore she ought to have deducted points from his conduct grade and graded the assignment. I decided at the time to suck it up, tell him it was going to be okay, and to ask what cafeteria duty meant so that next time we/he would at least know.

Then, on Monday, he was supposed to hand in his Current Event extra credit with the rest of the class. He did so, but, as my printer decided to crap out this past weekend, I told him that I would send an email to his teacher providing the links to the articles and requesting that she let me know if she needed the printed articles because I would bring them by. I had actually intended to go by the library and print the articles out this weekend, but, dealing with my other son's broken arm and our plumbing issues prevented this from actually happening.

She responded to my email with this:
In the future it is BB's responsibility to tell you he needed the article. He stated to me that he didn't know he had to have the article, quite different than you not being able to print them out. I told the other student s that I would not except their current event extra credit without the article so it would not be fair to allow BB to get credit.
I was frankly insulted by her response. Maybe it is just me, but, is she accusing me of lying about why he didn't have the article?

So, when my son got home, I asked him what he told her. He told me that he told her that he didn't know if he was going to have to have the articles (as in what her response to me would be) and then he started to cry. Since I was pretty sure he wasn't PMSing I asked what the tears were all about. He went on to tell me that he doesn't want to talk to his teacher because he is afraid that she will make fun of him again in front of the class. When I asked him to please clarify, he explained to me that when the whole homework/cafeteria duty incident happened that she was not very nice about it, and when he decided to take the zero, she made a big deal about it in front of the class and that the whole class was laughing at him.

Okay, for me this took the whole thing up to another level. It is one thing to give my son a zero, but, discipline by public humiliation is really against my beliefs. I don't even discuss punishments in front of my non offending children at home. I dislike the "ooh...you're in trouble" and the "you're gonna get it, Mom's really mad" that I hear if I do. I realize that a teacher can't pull a student to the side 100% of the time, but, as she is in charge of the class, when the class is reacting to what is going on, I think it is her responsibility to put a stop to it, not egg the kids on like a mob. When I sent her a follow up email explaining what was going on, and what my son had said to me, I got this back:
It is BB's responsibility to have what is needed for an extra credit assignment. This is not something I am required to do but did to help out those students who were struggling. Last week several times in class I went over my expectations. I put the Current Event sheet up on the document camera and went over step by step what they were to do. I also stated that they must have the article attached. It was important for them to do this so I could assess their response to the article they read. One student even asked if I would be returning the article because he wanted to keep his. I explained that they would get everything back. It is also posted on the class web page. As I have already explained to all the students no extra credit current event will be accepted without the article attached.As to the homework assignment last week. It is part of their routine that they turn it in to the basket when they walk in. Many student were up putting it in the basket. I stated that they needed to turn in their homework and to be sure to put their name on it because 2 students in the morning class had forgotten to do this. All year long I have offered this opportunity to those who forget to turn it in or forget their name. Cafeteria clean up consists of helping the ladies wipe off tables, pick up trash , but mostly sweeping. It is something they can choose. Another student that day choose cafeteria clean up. He wasn't humiliated at all. It all comes down to being responsible. The rituals and routines in my class have remained the same all year. I know that this probably won't resolve the issue completely but in all honesty I feel that BB needs to be more responsible for his homework and assignments. We both know he is capable of better quality work than he has shown.

Of course I know that my son is capable of better work, but he has a lot going on at home. His Dad is now living 300+ miles away, he was used to seeing him for 11 years, but, now is lucky if he sees him for 4 days a month. He is getting a new sibling, which is the last thing he wants. He has a new sibling that is only 8 months old as it is. My son's life isn't without stress, at least as stress is perceived by an 11 year old. The punishment for not giving school his all is getting A's and B's and not straight A's, not his teacher's disdain. Then, there is my ongoing issue with cafeteria duty. I don't let my son sweep the floors at home, much less do I want him attempting to sweep up the muck from the cafeteria floor at the end of the lunch day. Ewww. I wouldn't want to do that. I also have a hard time believing that his teacher does not see that when he does work, even if the printer craps out, or he misunderstands what he is supposed to do with it, that by not giving him credit for it, she is giving him very little incentive to do much of anything.

Most of all, just because he is a kid, does not mean that he should not have his feelings respected. I was really disappointed that after pointing out to her that he was so embarrassed, that she didn't even try to talk to him about it.

I know that I am biased because this is my child I'm talking about, but, in the ten sets of teachers my school age children have had so far, my son's teachers are certainly not the first I haven't liked very much, but, they are the first I have felt the need to go to the administration to discuss. This is the first time that I feel like I've been beating my head against the wall since day one. Help me please bloggy pals.

How do you know you're old?

Embarrassing fact, the ring tone on my phone is Buckcherry's Crazy Bitch. I selected the ring tone based on the name alone and I figured that such a title suited me. Then I listened to the lyrics and meant to change it, but if I haven't mentioned it before...I'm very lazy.

An old friend of mine happened to hear my phone ring today, and burst out laughing. Their suggestion was, "yeah, at one time that was you, but now, I think you should go with Everclear's Volvo Driving Soccer Mom."

So...I thought it might be prudent to actually listen to the song, because I'll be damned if I remembered ever hearing it. I did. I have. I. Am. Old. Obviously, that was my friend's way of notifying me that my glory days are O-V-E-R.

My gray hair doesn't really bother me. The fine lines around my eyes aren't much of an issue. I'm not thrilled with my spider veins, but, after five (6 soon) kids I can accept them. What I'm having trouble with is feeling like I just got a pink slip dismissing me from having a life outside my kids. Ouch.

Do not wake up sleeping children

What is worse than a telemarketer? A door to door telemarketer. Really. Some guy rang my doorbell, not once, or twice, but three frigging times. A 'college student' who wants my vote...and all I have to do is buy a few magazines to give it to him. Puh-freaking-leeze.

1. When you are wearing a dress shirt and tie with a knit ski cap when it is 75 degrees outside...it shoots your credibility to shit.
2. You woke up my baby. Seconds before her older brother would have fallen asleep too. This makes you a douche bag in my book buddy.
3. My dogs are in total attack mode and you're about to mess your pants because you are so afraid of my 20lb Chihuahua. Hint: If you don't like dogs and there are barking dogs on the other side of a door...leave after the first time I don't answer the bell.

So, I wasn't very nice. I turned my back on him and said, "I don't think so, you just woke up my baby." Which was way kinder than what I was thinking. Apparently screwing me out of a nap makes me forget my manners.

My red carpet moment

An award? For me? Thanks Jen! Jen's blog is amazing because, she is amazing.

The rules, if I am reading them correctly instruct me to share seven things I love, and also tell you about seven blogs I love. I tend to be rather shy, so some of the blog authors may say, "who the hell is she?" That is okay, because they are awesome blog goddesses that must be mentioned.

Seven things that I love include,

1. White Tigers. I remember sitting for long periods of time with my Mom on the grass at the Washington Zoo waiting for the white tigers to be released from their den. If only my Mom had known then that those afternoons would one day lead to my favorite tattoo...I am sure we would have stayed home.
2. Cats. Even though mine are fighting at the moment and keep turning my printer on and off, I still love them. Foxy is my Persian and he was given to us by a man who could no longer care for him. I was warned that he wasn't a lap cat and was mostly a loner. Hah! This cat spends long periods of time making sure I inhale tufts of his fur while he purrs on my chest. He is also very handsome. Toby is the love of my life. I have been accused of loving him more than my husband and children. This isn't true, I might love him just as much though. Cats are too special.
3. Dogs. I really thought that I was more of a cat person until I adopted Molly and Patty. They are my two constant companions. I love them beyond measure.
4. Sleep. A nap, a decent night's rest, my children's naps, my children sleeping through the night, etc. No matter what form of slumber we are talking about with the exception of the eternal, it is one of my favorite things.
5. A clean house. My home is a constant battleground. I clean with all my might, my children and pets mess make with all of theirs. As I am terribly outnumbered, they tend to gain more ground as the days and years wear on. A clean house makes my heart sing. Even a clean room makes me happy, especially if I can sit down inside of it, shut the door and pretend the rest of the house matches.
6. Caffeine. I love this stuff. It is what gets me through the days that inevitably follow the sleepless nights. It can be coffee, an energy drink, or an intravenous infusion...I'm just grateful for it.
7. The Internet. Specifically the blog world. It allows me to feel connected to the happenings outside my front door without feeling obligated to put on make-up to participate. I consider it practice interaction with others, necessary for the preservation of my social skills so that one day I might be able to have in real life friends again.

Seven blogs that I love and am thrilled to pass on this award to are,

1. Monica's blog. Monica has five children, a great sense of humor, and lots of compassion. Her comments always make me laugh or give me courage. Her blog posts range from wet your pants funny to serious and introspective. She is quite a lady. A kindred spirit, if you will, I feel it in my bones.
2. KP over at Ventalicious. Her blog is a more recent find, but she is so real and hilarious to boot. I really enjoy checking in to see what she has going on.
3. Autismomma's blog. She is doing a magnificent job of rising to the challenges of raising her children. Her son is Autistic, but she isn't letting that define him or her family. She strives to provide the best diet possible for her children...and I really respect that.
4. Jude over at Just Teeth. She is a warm person who has gone out of her way to make me feel welcome over at her blog. She touches my heart, and from the way she describes her mother, I often wonder if we aren't sisters.
5. Sammanthia's blog. She is ever so funny and a fabulous mom to her boys. I went through a serious withdrawal when her corner of the world was inundated with ice that took away her power and internet for a couple of weeks.
6. Suburban Correspondent over at The More, the Messier. She is another *big time* blog success. She is a mother of six whose personality shines through on the pages of her blog. A lady that offers thoughtful comments, and gives me, as a soon to be Mom of six, hope for my continued sanity (such as it is) in the future.
7. Everyday Superhero's blog. I love reading about what her four boys are up to. She is an amazing Mommy, with terrific kids, a fabulous marriage, and a super sense of humor. It takes one hell of a woman to achieve what she has and continues to do, I have much respect and admiration for her.

Choices

So, here are my choices...

• I can begin paying my 11 year old to continue to live with me, a bargain at $5.00 a day.
• I can buy him a new scooter, more memory cards for his camera, a plethora of lithium batteries (also for camera) and pay him $2.50 a day.
• I can send him to live with my parents who will treat him so much better than we do.

Today, after much procrastination (on my part) Hubby and I finally told him that he was going to be a big brother again. There were tears and threats. A few tantrums were thrown. Lots of teen (and yes he is only 11, so WTH) angst was displayed...it was all very traumatic and exhausting.

The count for the weekend is stellar. I have one toddler with two broken bones. I have one 11 year old who claims that I am ruining his life, and one husband who claims that I am ruining both their lives. F*%king swell.