Thursday, March 1, 2012

Teen angst

I once had a friend tell me that teenage boys, "get those hormones going, and then they stay f#*ked up in the head until they start to get laid." At the time I thought it was a rather offensive statement, but I didn't entirely write it off since it was coming from a former teen boy. Actually, I still think it's an offensive statement but, would consider flying my teenager to Amsterdam to get high and get laid, if it meant that the child returning would somewhat resemble the one I gave birth to. Yep. I might just be *that* desperate.

My daughter texted me a link last night, it was along the lines of:

I guess I'm not the only one fed up with him. It can't all be in my head. Not if my daughter is researching potential boarding schools where we might deposit her older sibling. This thing is serious. This kid is killing me, and if that sounds like an exaggeration, he is in fact, torturing me into insanity. I mean, what mother sets her alarm to take her Xanax 45 minutes before her son's alarm is set to go off? Me. Clearly the answer is me, but, why should this be?

I tell people in stores in public places that he has Tourette's. That way they will excuse him and hopefully my clearly inadequate way of dealing with him. What does one say when their son utters a four letter word, or several of them strung together with as much hate as possible? I say nothing. I ignore him. I continue my shopping, placing my eggs carefully into my cart while I give curious onlookers a small sigh and an apologetic smile, "He has Tourette's," I say. What else can I do? I can't scream like a fish wife, or bend my six foot tall son over my knee. So? what do I do?

I take away his Xbox...he punches holes in my walls. I take away his cell phone...he goes after his little brother with a two by four. He controls the house. We tiptoe around him. We pray for him to sleep. We luxuriate in his absences. We have given up. We feel like we've tried everything legal to help help us. So, what do we do? We have another 3 years, 8 months, and 14 days until he turns 18...not that we are counting of course.

Maybe my daughter has the right idea. Maybe military school is a good plan.


  1. oye. i have no idea but to completely and totally regress to 'you talk like that to me, near me, in public, etc. you lose your phone, xbox, social activities, or food.'... holy oye. i have no idea. oye, again.

  2. First, prayer. But you knew that.

    Second, high school boys still need activities. They need to be doing 1) one physical activity 2) one creative activity and 3) one activity for others (service).

    He has to volunteer for something (anything that catches his interest), (yes you are drafting him but it helps --really), he has to be signed up for something that gets rid of some of that need to butt heads --my son did fencing and theatre and worked at a soup kitchen. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. needs to take point.

    Good luck. Prayers. Great sympathy.

  3. Yes, he needs Dad to be in charge of him from this point on (not sure how the balance of power in childrearing is in your household). If he starts arguing with you, you toss it to Dad. It is Dad's job. There are no many mothers who have that much influence over teen boys run amok.

    Sometimes you do have to wait it out. But if it is affecting the household adversely (essentially, you are all walking on eggshells), you might want to seek professional help for him. A friend of mine is going through this right now, and it is very difficult - particularly because the father won't step up and protect his wife.

    Is he doing okay in school? If not, there is a program run by the National Guard in several states that essentially whips the kids into shape, teaches them study skills, gets them to pass the GED, and helps them to prepare a sort of action plan for after they graduate from the program. It is awesome. Email me for details if you are interested.

  4. Here it is: the Youth Challenge Program. Florida has one. But he has to be 16. Hang in there.

  5. Well that's how teens are when stuff are taken away from them. I was once like him, only a bit lighter. I grew and changed as I got to understand why they had the "talk" to me when I was younger. He'll be enlightened soon. Don't be too hard on him as well.