Where I realize that I am not the only parent who accidently wears shirts with booze logos to school events

Why, when eating these last five or six pints of Purely Decadent's Chocolate Peanut Butter Swirl in the last few weeks did I never once consider having to actually sit behind one of those minuscule middle school desks? Oh. My. Goodness. Talk about a wake-up call! I have never been a thin person, I am big boned, big busted, and definitely not dainty, but, my new workout goal is to be able to nimbly slip into my son's desk at the next parent/teacher function like that one lady in my son's second period, the one EVERY other mother snickered at while baulking at their own assigned seats. Her. I want to be her. I never again want to have visions of me standing up with the desk still attached trying to break free competing with my child's teacher for my attention. Strangely, my panic from earlier and my resolve to do better in the future aren't hindering my ability to work through yet more of the same frigging ice cream while I type these very sentiments though. *Willpower, like patience, I'm afraid I never knew you!*

Middle School's Open House wasn't bad. I was especially appreciative of the dad in the 'Mike's Hard Lemonade' polo, He made me feel better about this morning's school run in my SoCo & lime tee. I did change before Open House, into a pair of linen slacks from Banana Republic, which I was too lazy/cheap to dry clean, so I hope nobody noticed the small hole in my derriere where the stitching came out in the wash, good thing I was wearing my good undies. My children were too busy saying things like, "LB you were too young to remember, but I've seen Mom dressed like this before, back when she had a job and made money." LB countered with, "you look like a lawyer, not a mother." BB iced the cake by contributing,"yeah, I like it when you do your own make-up, this way you don't look so bad." The latter being a reference to the facial and make-up session I had done this past weekend. Nothing like kids to boost one's self confidence!

Then there was the actual class like atmosphere while taking notes about the different teachers and their class objectives and expectations. I was kind of a little bit of the class clown in school which morphed into a sort of dry mockery of my teachers when I got to high school. I had a real hard time NOT being like that tonight. I reserved most of my comments for the hall between classes, but, others were just bursting to break free. Like for example in his health class, I couldn't help but mutter under my breath while reading some of the 'Drug Projects' hanging on the wall, that I was unsure whether they were promoting the drugs in question or educating about them. I mean, a giant piece of poster board on which was written an ode to 'Magic Mushrooms' gave me the impression that someone was trying to sell me something. Of course, my little comment drew the attention of a couple of parents who really flipped out about the whole thing (meaning the posters) and really threw the teacher (who I would have carded for an R rated movie) off her game. Oops, sorry about that, I just thought the whole thing was kind of funny...some people have no sense of humor though. *Humor I have in spades, if I could just swap for some patience and willpower, I'd be set.* My son was still admitting I was his mother by 7th period, so I must not have been too bad.

My babysitter let my three year old go to sleep at dinner so he should be ready for bed about the time the bars close around here, perhaps I should have hit the 'Mike's Hard' dad up for free samples. I'm afraid that tonight will be an all nighter. *Sigh* Two more Open Houses to go, of course they are at the same time on Thursday night. Fun, fun, fun.