Really

Well, we moved again.  Really.  The last rental was foreclosed on while we were living there.  Seriously.  I am desperately trying to avoid the temptation to talk about my rotten luck.  As things would have it, we are trying apartment living for a change.  I mean...nobody forecloses on apartments, right?  We hope.

Jeff has spent the last two days, on the night watch shift.  I won't lie...it was awful.  Too little sleep in the daytime, due to the impossibility of children playing quietly, and too much sunshine coming in through el cheapo blinds.  This lack of rest, and the irritability that inevitably comes with it, made the entire apartment feel smaller.  I am delighted to report that he is off today (he is trying so hard to rest right now) and tomorrow too.

The children are adjusting to the new school.  I am trying to adjust to losing 500 square feet, yet at the same time, somehow gaining a bedroom.  It's hard.  I think it will likely take us awhile to adapt, until we no longer feel like we are breathing down each other's necks.  I *still* am the only thing in my home which serves as a dishwasher, and I will admit, with seven people under the roof, it sucks.  Still, I am grateful we moved in time, that we kept most of what we love, and that our scaled down pets made the move.

I had finally been retrieving some of my lost birds, only to have to rehome them in order to make this move.  My heart about stopped when I had to send my conure to his new home.  We however, have two wonderful  parrots here with us, and the two dogs, two cats, and assorted geckos, frogs, fish, turtles, hermit crabs, and hamsters.  We were ultimately very, very lucky.

We owe Jeff's older brother a huge debt of gratitude, as he helped with the move at the eleventh hour after the tax place we used changed banks at the last minute and shorted our RAL by $1000.  That little detail sure was fun, but then, what about our lives isn't?

More soon I hope.  Until then, I will miss you guys.

OJ and ADD

I am standing in the orange juice section at Wal-Mart, I marvel at the choices, my head bouncing like a ping pong ball as I consider the possibilities.  Milk gallon containers, clear plastic containers, the simple side pour carton, the front pour carton, the pulp free, the extra pulp, the medium pulp, the tangerine juice creeping into my peripheral vision...WAIT...stop...hold the presses...I forgot my Adderall.

I give up on my quest to find the same orange juice that I've bought for the last five or six years, and I head to the front of the store, "Iced coffee and take your Adderall, iced coffee and take your Adderall," I repeat over and over in my head.  I buy a Starbucks can of something coffee based and cold, and I drain it with my pill.  Then I get a new cart, the whereabouts of my last one, an unknown story.  I walk slowly back toward the orange juice, this time embracing the crazy.  I let myself be sidetracked by every shiny object, waiting, giving the medicine time to kick in.  I wander from Holiday sweaters, to bras, to coffee, careful to not put anything in my cart.  Finally, I reach the orange juice, and with confidence pick up the right bottle, never second guessing myself.

I move from aisle to aisle, picking up my groceries in a precise order.  My phone rings.  I stop and answer, "Hey Baby.  Where are you?" implores Jeff through the phone.  "Wal-Mart," I reply.  I can sense the careful thought put into the words to come, over the phone line, as if they are tangible.  "I didn't realize you were going straight to the store.  Your medicine is here."

I smile, "I had an Adderall with me, and I already took it.  No worries."  The palpable tension evaporates, I can hear the smile in his voice when he replies, "Great!  Love you.  See you when you get here."

For most people, Wal-Mart is sensory overload, for someone like me, the ADD in full force, Wal-Mart is potentially hazardous to both our bank account and my mental health.  For those of you who didn't know, the ADD is a newish set of letters that trail behind all the other acronyms used to describe me, GAD, MDD, GERD, OCD, CFS, etc.  My children have it down to the bare bones, "Mom is crazy," they say.  If only they knew how right they are sometimes...and all it takes to humble me is a simple bottle of orange juice...no pulp.

All about the U

They did WHAT in Washington?

Washington has decided to legalize pot.  That sealed the deal.  Screw the bills.  I'm going.  Not for that reason particularly, but, because I decided it was an omen.  And that was that.  Flight booked.

I am already having a trying day.  The house is a wreck.  Jeff is grumpy...ahem, 'not awake yet.'  The sinusitis I have been fighting for...I don't even know how long is making me feel like death!  It's all good though, because I am excited!  I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel that...hark...isn't a train!  See how a vacation can do a girl a whole mountain of good?

If you all remember Boss Lady (who takes exception to the name and is a really dear person that I love ever so much) you will know how excited I am to be spending Friday and Saturday nights at her house watching the dogs and birds!  They were so cute when I visited yesterday!  I can't wait for that either!

Enjoy your day guys, I think that in spite of the odds, I am going to love mine!

To be or to not...

Jeff's company flies all the employees out to Seattle for a week in December.  Spouses can come, but, must pay their own way,  Before the 'pay your own way' was noted, I was invited.  After that came to light, the bills became more important than me.

I get the point.  We are behind on bills and it will help us catch up.  However, it would have been my first real vacation in my entire life.  It would have allowed me to recharge my batteries and come home a rejuvenated person who just had a whole week with the man she barely gets to see here.  It would have meant everything to me.

So...c'mon y'all, tell me that I'm not worth that $300, tell me it is all in my head.  I need to hear it.

Halloween and a couple of other important things

The sheer number of things that have happened in the last two months are nearly impossible to even update you all on, but, I am going to try.  We moved.  We moved into a lovely house on a great cul-de-sac, in the most close knit neighborhood...and then found out that our charming new rental, goes up for public sale on the 16th of this month.  Can I hear a "what, WHAT?"

Jeff got a fantastic new job.  The home office is in Seattle.  I, you guys will be proud of me I know, have survived two of his trips out there so far, the latest for three weeks.  It's hard.  I have always been so independent in the way I care for myself and my children, that I realized as Jeff was leaving for this amazing new opportunity (because he is brilliant, and I am not the only one who has noticed) that I actually 'share' the parenting with him, and I was going to miss my support system.  Hello!!!  Isn't that insane for a 'married single mother,' of many, many years?  We lived it.  We did it.  He is home now.

The kids had a fantastic Halloween.  I had two doctors, two Dora pirates, and a sleeping Doodlebop.  Jeff and I took the kids trick-or-treating!  Again, JEFF and I took the kids trick-or-treating!  It was so novel and amazing to have a pair of eyes to meet, and to share thoughts about how cute our kids are.  This was by far, Mommy's best trick-or-treat year yet!

Yesterday, I got the one gift I have been lusting after for years, and years.  I slept in...until after 11.  When I got out of bed and made my way toward the coffee...there they were...kids eating and playing, Jeff smiling at me.  I got to sleep in until my body told me to wake up...and nobody was even mad at me!  Never has anyone done something for me that meant this much.  Not ever.

So...lots of changes, lots of things staying the same too.  I just keep pinching myself...and amazingly, it keeps hurting!

I miss my guy...

I am insanely missing someone who is just a few feet away.  My children take up so much of me, and so much of him, that there is rarely anything leftover for each other.  I hate it.  If I could, I would run away to a desert island (well, a cooler island) with him...and stay shipwrecked for about three months.

I can scarcely bring myself to admit it, but, I am jealous of my own children when it comes to the snuggles and cuddles they get from him, and by the time we both hit the bed, we are lucky if our hands brush, before we give in to the sleep we spent the last three or four hours yearning for.

This is new territory for me.  This is the first time in my life that I have cared enough to feel this way.  Crazy, right?  How do the rest of you find time for each other?  How do you find the energy when you have the time?  This mama needs to know.

I have the world's most wonderful man in my life!  How do we keep each other afloat?  Actually, screw afloat...how do we keep each other going at full throttle*, with the wind whipping through our hair?

Tell me bloggy friends...tell me how it is done!

*large quantities of illegal substances aside